Trust is important in marriage. If there’s no trust and understanding, the marriage won’t work well. These days, cheating seems to be happening more, maybe because of the internet and media influence. Blaise Pascal’s insight, “The heart has its reasons, which reason doesn’t understand,” seems particularly relevant in this context. As moral values are declining, affecting everyone regardless of education. Both men and women are involved in cheating. Extra marital affairs in Pakistan are a big concern, going against Islamic values. It’s important to understand why these affairs happen and what impact they have in Pakistan.
Extra Marital Affairs in Pakistan: Understanding the Phenomenon
It was once thought that men, spending more time away from home at work or social events, were more likely to have extra marital affairs. Similarly, there was a belief that working women were more prone to affairs, which made people in Pakistan hesitant to marry working women. However, with the rise of social media, both working women and housewives are now equally at risk of having affairs.
Although second marriages are still culturally accepted in many Islamic countries, extra marital affairs in Pakistan are becoming more common among both married and unmarried individuals. Nowadays, many people experience affairs at some point in their lives. Most of these affairs occur in educational institutions or workplaces, but some also involve friends, relatives, or strangers met on the Internet.
Causes and Consequences
Extra marital affairs in Pakistan are a sensitive and complex issue. Even though there is a cultural and religious focus on staying faithful in marriage, these affairs still happen. By figuring out why they occur and what happens because of them, we can work towards solving this problem and encouraging better relationships.
Remember, attraction and appreciation are not the same. Sometimes, people mistake an extramarital affair for just a friendship and don’t notice the signs until it’s too late. It’s important for everyone to know what an affair is, why they happen, and how to stop them before it’s too late.
Causes of Extra Marital Affairs
So, why do extramarital affairs happen? Here are some common reasons:
1. Early marriage
Marriage at a young age can sometimes lead to extramarital affairs. People who marry in their early 20s often achieve stability and social status by their mid-30s. At this point, they might feel like they missed out on enjoying their youth and may view an extramarital affair to relive the excitement of dating.
2. Marital Dissatisfaction
One main reason people cheat is because they’re unhappy in their marriage. Some couples might compare their lives to others and see problems like unresolved issues or poor communication. Friends and family might even push them toward making bad decisions. This dissatisfaction often comes from feeling emotionally neglected, having poor communication, or unmet physical needs. When someone feels unappreciated or unloved, they might look for emotional or physical closeness outside their marriage
3. Intimacy Suppression
Intimacy and its needs are considered a taboo topic of discussion in Pakistani society because of its conservative nature. So, the lack of education on intimacy and open discussions about it result in unfulfilled desires, which are often sought outside their marriage in extra-marital relationships.
Both males and females pursue these relationships if their expectations from each other remain unfulfilled. Though some men may settle for second marriages to fulfil their unmet needs, this option may not be possible for everyone. Women, whose physical desires are historically neglected, may also resort to extramarital relationships when their needs are not satisfied.
Women used to be encouraged to hide their desires, but today, technology and connectivity make it easier for them to engage in these relationships. Mostly women who are drawn into extramarital affairs may, at first, perceive these relationships as friendliness or expressions of sympathy. Unfortunately, these seemingly innocent interactions can turn into more serious affairs.
4. Lack of compatibility
Many people enter marriage for the wrong reasons, with family or societal pressure being a major factor. In Pakistan, arranged marriages are common, and parents often choose spouses based on their own preferences rather than their children’s. Therefore, this disregard for personal choice and compatibility can lead to dissatisfaction, which sometimes results in extramarital affairs.
5. Seeking Novelty and Excitement
A marriage often needs a spark to keep it lively. When the excitement fades and spouses no longer feel connected, one partner might be drawn to someone who can rekindle that lost spark. Additionally, some people turn to extramarital affairs to find the novelty and excitement that might be missing in their long-term relationship.
6. Social Media and Technology
The rise of social media and technology has made it easier for people to connect discreetly. Online platforms provide opportunities for people to meet and interact with others, sometimes leading to romantic or physical relationships. This ease of access can increase the likelihood of extra-marital affairs.
7. Parenting and Gender Roles
Everything changes when people become parents: the dynamics of the relationship, how responsibilities are shared, and priorities. Sometimes, it is impossible to stay connected with one’s partner when the other is overwhelmed by new added responsibilities. One may reach out for comfort or support from someone else through this change.
For example, a wife may take on most of the responsibilities related to raising the children, while also handling many tasks outside the home to ease her husband’s burden. This arrangement can sometimes lead to the husband seeking extramarital affairs due to feeling neglected or unfulfilled, as the wife is too busy to meet his needs.
Likewise, to support the family, a husband might take on additional work or more than one job, thus relieving his wife of her role. In such cases, a wife feels her husband is neglecting her and seeks attention outside her marriage, which may drive her to have extramarital affairs.
8. Cultural Shifts
Pakistan is experiencing gradual cultural changes, especially in urban areas. The exposure to international media and the changing social norms makes people more liberal toward relationships. This change can sometimes conflict with the traditional values, which may result in some people seeking a relationship outside their marriage. Moving to another country and following their culture has become a trend nowadays, and media, especially social media, also plays its role in making the people think that there is nothing wrong with extra marital affairs. Films and dramas show this as part of everyday life, so people take it as normal behavior.
9. Economic Independence
With more women gaining financial independence through education and employment, they may feel more empowered to seek fulfilment outside their marriage if they feel neglected. Consequently, this newfound autonomy can sometimes lead to extramarital relationships, especially when the individual feels undervalued at home. Therefore, financial independence and neglect at home, at times, come together to present opportunities for extramarital affairs to happen.
10. Midlife crises
Midlife crises can lead to extramarital affairs as individuals in this stage may seek to recapture their youth and vitality. After fulfilling family obligations and responsibilities, they may feel a desire for excitement and validation. Attention from a younger individual can reignite feelings of youthfulness and passion, prompting them to seek emotional or physical connections outside of their marriage to recapture lost time and experience a sense of renewal.
The Impact of Extra-Marital Affairs
Infidelity can have a devastating impact on individuals, families, and society as a whole:
1. Emotional Trauma
Both the cheating spouse and the betrayed partner experience a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, betrayal, and loss of self-esteem. Moreover, this emotional turmoil can have a significant effect on mental health, leading to stress, depression, and anxiety.
2. Family Breakdown
Extra marital affairs can lead to conflict, separation, and divorce. Moreover, this can be particularly damaging for children who often feel caught in the middle. Additionally, divorce, while legally possible, is socially discouraged in Pakistan, particularly for women. Also, the impact on children can be particularly distressing. Which leads to emotional and psychological issues for them as well.
3. Social Stigma
While attitudes are changing, infidelity can still carry a heavy social stigma in Pakistan. The woman is often blamed more than the man, leading to social isolation and even violence. Furthermore, people engaged in extramarital affairs may encounter social rejection and criticism from their community. This disapproval can result in isolation and harm relationships both in social and professional settings.
4. Impact on Children
Children of broken homes may experience emotional and behavioral problems. They might struggle with trust issues and have difficulty forming healthy relationships later in life.
5. Societal Effects
An increase in extramarital affairs can weaken social values and moral standards. Furthermore, it can also damage trust among people in communities.
6. Trust Issues
Trust is a fundamental component of any relationship. Infidelity or extra marital affair can severely damage it. Rebuilding trust after an affair is challenging and may require significant time and effort. In many cases, the trust between partners may never fully recover.
7. Legal Consequences
Although legal action for infidelity is rare, it is a possible consequence in Pakistan. Adultery is a punishable offense under Islamic law, and the threat of legal repercussions can add an additional layer of stress and complexity to the situation.
Addressing the Issue
There are steps that can be taken to address the issue of extramarital affairs in Pakistan:
- Promoting Open Communication
If there is openness and effective communication within marriages, it will help in solving problems in the emerging stages. Couples should feel comfortable discussing their feelings, needs, and concerns to prevent misunderstandings and dissatisfaction.
- Marital Counselling
As extra marital affairs in Pakistan become more common, counselling is increasingly important. Marital counselling can provide couples with tools to improve their relationship and address underlying issues. Professional guidance can help partners communicate more effectively and work through problems that may lead to infidelity.
- Education and Awareness
Increasing awareness about the causes and consequences of extra-marital affairs can help individuals make better decisions. Providing education about healthy relationships and physical health can also reduce the likelihood of infidelity.
- Support Systems
Support systems, such as friends, family, and support groups, can play a vital role in helping individuals cope with the emotional impact of infidelity. Having a strong support network can provide comfort and advice during difficult times.
- Strengthening Family Values
Emphasizing the importance of commitment, respect, and emotional well-being within families can help promote healthy marriages.
- Gender Inequality
Challenging traditional gender roles and promoting equal opportunities can create a more balanced and fulfilling partnership for both spouses.
- Legal Reforms
Addressing the legal aspects of extramarital affairs in Pakistan is important. Ensuring that laws are fair and do not unfairly target one gender can help create a more just legal system.
Takeaway
Extra marital affairs in Pakistan are a complex issue with various causes and significant consequences. By understanding the reasons behind infidelity and its impact, individuals and couples can take proactive steps to address and prevent it.
The impact of extramarital affairs can result in mental health challenges and harm the marriage. Therefore, it’s important to talk openly with your partner and make efforts to improve the relationship if you sense any issues.
