Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most beautiful yet spicy relationship after a husband-wife relationship. The most difficult adjustment for a bride to make when she moves into a new home is developing a relationship with her mother-in-law. All relationship tips she had learned from her mother about how to take care of in-laws and behavior with mother-in-law remains somewhere back in her head when she came up with a “mother-in-law” to deal with. But the question is; why do daughters-in-law see mother-in-law as a headache? And why do mothers-in-law find it hard to click with their daughters-in-law?
Simple rishta has back with a blog to answer these difficult questions of the centuries. We’ll offer some relationship tips to any daughters-in-law or mothers-in-law who have concerns about communication.
Why do mothers-in-law find it hard to click with daughters-in-law?
Mothers think of marrying their sons as a sacrifice. In their eyes, no one is crueler than the new daughter-in-law who snatched her son away. Her son used to come straight from the office to greet her but now he went straight to his room to meet her wife. Before her arrival, he used to eat by her hands but now he prefers to eat the food served by his wife.
Before the steps of daughter-in-law in their home, her son was only his but now he is of someone else. These silly thoughts or jealousy of a mother-in-law toward her daughter-in-law cause arguments to arise which eventually destroy the piece of a house.
The simple answer to the question of why they have trouble connecting with a new bride is ” once a mother-in-law was a daughter-in-law too.” If we acknowledge that the mother-in-law never had these thoughts about her daughter-in-law.
Lightheartedly, every mother-in-law was once a daughter-in-law. Where she received reprimands, suffered trauma, was overworked, or was split from her husband. When a daughter-in-law wed in their home, this black box of their memory came to life and their minds became clouded with the motto “My mother-in-law did this when I was a daughter-in-law, now she is a daughter-in-law, so I will also pretend to be a mother-in-law.”
As a result, the mother becomes “mother-in-law” and that law can never be disobeyed.
Why do daughters-in-law see mothers-in-law as a headache?
According to the daughter, their life is difficult from the beginning. Their likes and interests are seized by saying “Do it in your home”. They keep all their dreams in a bottle to accomplish them in their new home. So they began to imagine a new home as a freedom where they can do everything to their desire but what do they not know, a mother is sitting in the new home too whose laws are harsher than their mother. Daughters-in-law’s expectations about the new home and relationships can be the cause of bitter daughter-in-law and mother-in-law relationships. And like this, mother-in-law began to seem like a deadly headache.
Moreover, girls think that the groom has no relations with anyone; he is just her husband and all his time is for her to cherish. This is not the right track. A daughter-in-law shouldn’t forget that her husband is someone’s son and brother, they all have rights over him. So, sticking to the logic of “He is mine and he is mine alone” will only disturb the husband-wife relationship because no man would bear the fact that his mother is hated by his life partner.
How mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship can be better?
A relationship can only make better when both parties are willing to play their role. Of course, it will not get better over a night but continuous efforts with a willingness will make it better one day.
Since both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law need counseling, here are some relationship tips for both parties separately;
Relationship tips for Daughter-in-law
1. Show interest in her life:
Ask your mother-in-law about her interests, hobbies, and experiences. Showing genuine interest in her life will help you to build a deeper connection.
2. Be respectful:
Always be respectful towards your mother-in-law. Treat her the way you would want to be treated, and be mindful of her feelings and boundaries.
3. Find common ground:
Look for shared interests or activities that you can enjoy together. This will help you to bond and create positive memories.
4. Be considerate:
Be considerate of her needs and feelings. If she needs help with something, offer your assistance without being asked.
5. Spend time together:
Try to spend quality time together, such as going out for lunch, watching a movie, or taking a walk. This will help you to build a deeper connection and get to know each other better.
6. Celebrate special occasions:
Remember special occasions like birthdays and holidays, and celebrate them together. This will help to create positive memories and strengthen your relationship. You can also go for shopping to kill time.
7. Show appreciation:
Express your gratitude and appreciation for everything she does for you and your family. A simple thank you can go a long way in building a positive relationship.
Relationship tips for Mothers-in-law
Accept her for who she is: Recognize that your daughter-in-law has her own personality thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Accept her for who she is, and try not to compare her to others or hold her to unrealistic expectations.
1. Be inclusive:
Make an effort to include your daughter-in-law in family events and gatherings. This will help her to feel like a part of the family and strengthen her relationship.
2. Show empathy:
Try to understand your daughter-in-law’s perspective and show empathy towards her feelings and concerns. This will help you to build trust and mutual respect.
3. Offer praise and encouragement:
Recognize and acknowledge your daughter-in-law’s accomplishments and efforts. Offer praise and encouragement, and avoid being critical or judgmental.
4. Keep communication open:
Keep lines of communication open and be willing to listen to each other. Try to be understanding, patient, and non-judgmental when discussing sensitive topics.
5. Avoid interfering:
Avoid interfering in your daughter-in-law’s relationship with your son or their parenting style unless they ask for your advice or help.
6. Respect her privacy:
Respect your daughter-in-law’s privacy and avoid prying into her personal life. If she wants to share something with you, she will do so in her own time.
Remember that building a strong relationship takes time and effort, and it won’t happen overnight. By showing interest in each other’s lives, being respectful, communicating openly, finding common ground, being considerate, spending time together, celebrating special occasions, respecting privacy, and showing appreciation, anyone can build a strong relationship with their mother-in-law or daughter-in-law.
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This topic was quite different from the other topics and kudos, you write it well. Lol, It was so fun to read it. I really like the way you spice it up with your humour.